October 25th, 2008
Thesis Statements (Group 4)
Posted by
edigiorgio in
Blogroll
Group 4: Ashley, Mark, Branden, Anthony, and Melinda
You will post your thesis statements in the comment section here and then comment on each other’s thesis statements. Please offer very specific advice how your team members could improve their thesis statements.
on October 26th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
monsters known as the janjaweed, are killing innocent people in darfur, and are being pay to do so by the sudanese government.
on October 26th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Take a look through the eyes of a young and innocent child living in Sudan. Unlike the Sudanese, the children of America don’t have to question if they will live one more day. They will never have to be hunted or maliciously slaughtered. We as Americans, take for granted the privileges we have bestowed.
on October 26th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
ashley, i think your thesis is preety good. It is short and to the point. If i could add anything, maybe just try and go into a little more detail, but other than that i think its good =]
sorry i commented so late my computer was broken at homeee
on October 26th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Mark, Branden, Anthony…you’re all late. It’s almost 10:30 pm on Sunday night.
Ashley and Melinda, I have comments for you, which I will distribute in tomorrow’s class.
on October 27th, 2008 at 1:15 am
to my group:
i forgot about having to post this, i had it all ready for class, i just forgot to post it to the blog until i checked the site. im sorry for being late but heres what i thought about your thesis statements….
Ashley: yours is good, however double check some of the spelling and little grammer mistakes.
Matilda: your thesis will devolop a good paper however cut down on te length and the detail for now. Go into the topic more throughaly as the paper goes on.
My thesis:
The unbelievable violence in Sudan is a result of the Janjaweed; a word simply meaning, “a man with a gun on a horse.” These government hired militias, fresh out of jail, have attributed fear, violence, rape, and death upon civilians throughout Africa.