July 16th, 2009
Conclusions~Group 1
Posted by
edigiorgio in
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Group 1: Malcolm, Kevin, & Misael
Post your two conclusions below by Saturday 5:00 pm. Comment on your group members’ conclusions by Sunday 5:00 pm.
EOF 2009~Foundations of Reading & Writing Rocks
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on July 17th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Misael Ruiz
Professor. D
Foundation of Reading and Writing
17 July 2009
Conclusion 1-2
1. Having a set goal in the city I was raised is challenging. The atmosphere and the people can be discouraging at many times ones life. Truly, these are the moments to stand up in what we believe to overcome the adversaries and the statistic that has been set aforetime. This is a great opportunity to give hope to those that are without hope in the world.
2. Watching the days go by wondering who is the person within you. Thinking of how you got to the point you are in. Why you act the way you act? Why you feel the way you feel? Whether you are a product of your environment or were you born with all your ways and traits naturally from your parents’ genes?
on July 17th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
come on teammates let go.
on July 18th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
1.) Every opportunity is at reach with hard work and dedication. The desire to succeed is a burning bubble in my stomach that wont go away until every goal is achieved. It feels as if a monkey is on my back and success will release this annoying animal. With little hope from the rest of my family, I feel that I’m the last chance. I will not let any one or thing get in my way of providing my family with a better life. In ten years I want to look back at my question and ask myself, did I succeed?
on July 18th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
2.) Life has thrown plenty of pitches at me at maximum speed. The bat being heavy as a elephant, it feels I cant swing to knock these challenges out the way. My school work and college is like lifting weights, with more lifting, I will get stronger and wiser. This will allow me be able to pick this heavy bat up, and knock every challenge out the park. With continuation of these studies, soon, I will be able to make it to the home run derby!
on July 18th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
hey misael,
I like both of your conclusions. In the second one, try to not keep asking questions over and over. Also, try to better your setences with bigger words and better sentences.
on July 18th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Yo, malc
I like your 1 conclusion. It stright to the point, but the second one is a little corny. Try to use a little more detail on why your bat is heavy. I think if u fix it up, it can be the top one of your conclusion.
on July 18th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
1.) “The stereo type of a black male is misunderstood, but it is still all good,” respectfully stated by the late great Notorious B.I.G. Their are so many stereo types, in the world we live in today. People try and look at you differently for any little thing you do and especially when you grow up without a father in a dangerous environment. I know i was raised correctly, and I know I’ m different from any other male that run the streets in Camden, New Jersey. It’s my destiny to be successful in life and to get my family out the situation we are in now. I want to look back at my life, several years from now and ask myself a question. Did Kevin N. Love fulfill his destiny?
on July 18th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
2.) Setting a goal/dream for your future probably is one of the most difficult things to do. When you live in a city with so many bad influences around you and negative people, its hard to stay focus. It feels like everywhere I turn I see someone selling drugs or someone getting arrested. I cant even lie to you, it is so tempting to start hustling. I feel like i should do what is necessary and get that fast money to help support my mother a little more. Also, i know selling drugs would led to me getting arrested so that’s why i turned my back to that idea. But behind me I have some of the strongest supports in the world. I have them on my back and i will carry them to the finish line. “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase,” said by the excellent Martin Luther King Jr. Even though i might not see the end of the stairs, I will eventually get their if i take one step at a time.
on July 18th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Hey Miseal,
First thing i want to say before i comment on you conclusions is thanks for the motivation, and im glad to be your teammate. But your first conclusion is very powerful and you use some very colorful word. In the second conclusion, it seem like one big question and i think they both need to be longer and little more details.
on July 18th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Hey Malc,
Thanks for the reminder about the conclusions but your first conclusion is good and i feel your emotions in every single line. But the second is written very differently and that’s a good start but it is also cheesy and need to be longer with more details.
on July 18th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Yo, kevin
You kill them conclusion, I have to say I love both of them. If I have to pick one I would get the first one. It summarize everything that minority like are selves go though in the hood.
on July 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Yo, kevin
You kill those conclusion. If I have to pick one, I would pick the first one. It summarize wat us minority go though in the ghetto. Keep up the good work!
on July 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
hey kevin,
Your comparison in conclusion 1 is very catchy. Try to continue bettering your grammer and shorten run on sentences. Besides that your good to go.
on July 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Hey kevin,
You rocked you second conclusion.