Comments for EOF 2009~Foundations of Reading & Writing Rocks

Comment on Conclusions~Group 4 by Ellen35

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:39:01 +0000

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Comment on Conclusions~Group 4 by Gemma18

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:49:59 +0000

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Comment on Protected: Draft 1~Group 5 by Myranda

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:13:38 +0000

Comment on Protected: Draft 1~Group 5 by Myranda

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:12:21 +0000

Comment on Conclusions~Group 4 by maxie Quinones

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:19:17 +0000

As Frank A. Clark said, “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” Thankfully, I have been traversing a path on which I stumble upon many obstacles. If Frank Clark’s Statement is true, then I’m heading somewhere. Where exactly I’m not sure, but with my ability to transform negative obstacles into a positive outcome, I will not be heading towards negative.

Imagine death in the same category as success. In which the two are extremely different, but rest in the same story. After my best friend Sal was shot to death and my second father died from a bran tumor, I have learned transform these experience from death to success.

Comment on Protected: Draft 1~Group 3 by Therans

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 20:52:49 +0000

Comment on Conclusions~Group 1 by malcolm beale

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:03:58 +0000

Hey kevin,
You rocked you second conclusion.

Comment on Conclusions~Group 1 by malcolm beale

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:03:25 +0000

hey kevin,
Your comparison in conclusion 1 is very catchy. Try to continue bettering your grammer and shorten run on sentences. Besides that your good to go.

Comment on Conclusions~Group 6 by Kelly

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:28:14 +0000

that was for Chavonne

Comment on Conclusions~Group 6 by Kelly

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:27:47 +0000

Wow, i like both conclusions i cant say one is better because they both flow well and you get your point across in both. i really like how conclusion 1 starts off because and your description allows me to paint a picture of the arena. However i feel like there should be a transition sentence btween the WNBA player, and Everyday I will drive..etc. Its like you go from being a WNBA player to driving your to practice in college. Maybe you can use that sentence about growing up in conclusion two.

‘Imagine a basketball arena full of fans, authentic basketball attire purchased at the stores within the stadium. A portion of the profits will go to my salary I make as a professional WNBA player. Growing up I always had the mindset of being one step ahead of my competition. I worked to my best ability to further my talent by hard work and perseverance. If someone worked hard, I made sure i worked harder. Everyday I will drive my upper class automobile to the mandatory basketball practices scheduled for the team. All of my hardwork and mastered fundamentals will be showcased to the world, both in person and through etc….’
Its longer, but does it sound ok?