The Gauntlet
So, in the depths of the mASF forums, a challenge was issued, to all PUAs brave enough to pick up the gauntlet: To sarge a woman, and get a #-close, using nothing but song. Now, the original details allowed full use of kino and a short explanation before hand. In taking up this gauntlet, however, I added my own stipulations: I would not make eye contact (to prevent this, I wore reflective wrap-around sunglasses), I would not engage in any kino, beyond a single touch to the shoulder, and, just to make it near impossible, all the songs would be homecrafted (i.e. steal the beat from other songs at times, but keep it marginally original). The actual mASF post can be found here
Now, before I go on to give my FR, let me just stop for a minute to give NashvillePlayboy some major kudos. Sometimes, the game can start to lose its glamor, and you forget what its really about: fun. Posts and challenges like this one are what get the blood flowing…and are even safe for people like me, who are out of the game itself, but just looking to get back that old confidence boost. NashvillePlayboy, be proud: You’ve been mentioned in an obscure blog with maybe 10 readers.
Anyway, on to the FR:
Being far too busy to go out sarging for any considerable length of time, I picked up AFCWingJM, and began to walk around campus looking for a good approach. I was doing some minor peacocking in my black felt cowboy hat and safety-style reflective sunglasses (worn more to adhere to my own stipulations for the game…i.e. no eye contact), but was mostly just my normal, all black, semi-serious self. We attempted to videotape a few of the approaches, but it didn’t work out well. Apparently, people get very, VERY defensive when a videocamera is openly involved, and will demand that you delete footage, or just walk away from you. Following are the highlights:
Approach 1: HB7Snob was sitting up across from the Dean’s Office, listening to her Ipod and working on papers. I came in with a variant on ‘If you’re happy and you know it’, in which I went through quite a few verses before attempting the close. AFCWingJM helped me by clapping where appropriate for himself. Annotated are which ones the target clapped for:
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. (no clap.)
If you’re annoyed and you know it clap your hands (1 clap)
If you’ve got a rat up your ass clap your hands (giggling, laughing, no clap)
If you’re amused and you know it, clap your hands (clapping)
If you wanna be distracted clap your hands (clapping)
If you think I’m kinda cute, clap your hands (clapping)
If you wanna sit with me, clap your hands (clapping, moves to sit)
If you wanna be my friend, give a number to my phone and clap your hands (gives phone, number put in)
(lines continue for a while, distracting her and amusing me)
So, you’d think this meant I got it right on the first try, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, here in the tristate, we have a number that I’ve used myself on quite a few people. Its called the rejection hot line, and can be reached at: 201-808-6011. Basically, I think I moved in too fast after building attraction, here. I did manage to make this approach work, but it wasn’t until after some deep thought.
Approach 4: (Post-Departure of AFCWingJM) HB9Goth was in the Arts and Science building, attempting to work on an art project. By this point, I was getting kind of distressed by the lack of closes. I’d built a lot of attraction to the women, and had gotten them all to engage (except one person, who slapped me and left when I started with my home-crafted ‘Orgy’ song, but…yeah), but no actual number closes. So…I ditched my restriction on the home-made song part, and opened her with ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ …pretty much a straight out Top Gun mimic. I got a look like I was mad, but, she moved over, and I gained entrance to the couch. From there, I noticed that she was working on a celtic-knot-type design, so I switched gears and went semi-original, working with irish folk music. She tried to steal my cowboy hat after a while, and so, in song, I informed her that the person with the hat had to sing. In the end, I got a number without asking for it.
Approach 5: Still singing with HB9Goth, I noticed that other people in the lounge were looking at us like we were nuts. Since I still had time to kill until AFCWingJM got back from his class, I decided to try to turn a single #-close into a multiple #-close. Placing the cowboy hat on her head, I waited until she got back into the swing of singing again…And then began to lead her about the room, picking out women (mostly through pointing, and letting her decide if they got dragged up). In the end, we had about twelve people giggling and sharing my cowboy hat like a 10 cent whore. AFCWingJM returned during this, and at the end, we all traded numbers and departed for class. I ended up with 5 numbers out of the group. AFCWingJM got 2.
Approach 8: If you’re happy and you know it finally worked. I was solo for this run, and used part of the singing switch I developed in Approach 4 to make HB7Lioness (picture long, curling blond hair, framing a thin face) continue the song. In the end, I didn’t get a #-close, but I did get an AIM close (without asking for either), so I still count it as a success.
Finally, approach 10: This was my last approach of Weds. It…really, really didn’t go well. Apparently, some of the girls had been going around talking about the singing man who was collecting numbers, and it had reached the ears of HB8Nosenseofhumor. Her reaction was to slap me in the face, and walk off, on the opening bars of a home made irish tune. HB9Goth was there to watch it, and was giggling. She said the girl tended to be a bitch, and, since it wasn’t part of the game anymore, I agreed in normal speech.
That kinda ended my day of partial PU. I noticed it was a lot harder to get back into the swing of things after each class, and, as noted…Video Cameras make people edgy as hell when they think they’re being flirted with. That or I just really, really had bad luck with who I picked. But…all in all, I’d say the day was a decent success, if not a booming one. Do you know how hard it is to keep your sunglasses on, when everyone’s looking to take them off?
Thanks, Nashvilleplayboy, for coming up with round one of this game. 
And trust me, there’ll be other rounds.
This ends my little off-topic tangent. Join us next time as we discuss ‘Practicing The Poker Face’. For now, as always, I’m your host, Lodinkinni, and this has been another instillation of ‘Social Falsification: Tales from the Liar’s Underground’.