Social Falsification

After whats come close to being a month’s delay, I’ve finally posted my FR from the second week of the Pick Up Game. Sorry for the delays, guys…I’m just that lazy.

Day 1: Wawa and Commerce

The Dress Of The Day: My black leather jacket (kinda raggedy), a black tee shirt under it, my hair all fuzzed and slightly poofy, and blue jeans: A very, VERY stereotypical redneck setup.

HBWawa: brunette, between an 8 and a 9
(Partial transcript may be slightly paraphrased)

Me: So, ever have sex in the trash room?
HBWawa: Excuse me?
Me: Well, its just that the compactor might be really comfortable…that or really uncomfortable.
HBWawa: Can I help you with something?
Me: Sure can! I’m an X-PUA, out as part as an ongoing game. You could give me your number, spend some time with me, and just have a good time at work.
Me (again): Or you could have a shitty time, call over the manager, and get me in trouble.
HBWawa: Whats a ‘PUA?’
Me: A Pick Up Artist.
HBWawa: So…you’re a Pick Up Artist
Me: Nope, I’m an X-PUA. I’ve got a girlfriend. I was a PUA once upon a time.
HBWawa: Umm…okay. So…are you hitting on me?
Me: Yes and No.
HBWawa: What?
Me: Yes and No.
HBWawa: Explain? Please?
Me: Well, I’m playing a game with other Pick Up Artists, and with Recovering AFCs. I want your number, and, for personal reference, a smile and a laugh. Or twelve.
HBWawa: Twelve? Why Twelve?
Me: Its as arbitrary as Two. Its very, very important.
HBWawa: The game’s very important?
Me: NO! Not The Game…like I said, I have a girlfriend. Twelve Is Very, Very Important.
HBWawa: But…isn’t it arbitrary?
Me: Exactly!

(HBWawa gets yelled at and goes about work, shaking her head and looking up at me with half amused smiles randomly. 5 minutes later, while she’s cleaning the cappacino machine, I come back towards her)

HBWawa: Do you need me to turn on the cappacino machine for you?
Me: Nope, I could do it myself if I wanted one.
HBWawa: Customers aren’t allowed to do that…
Me: Yeah, which is good, because I’m lazy…and don’t want a cappacino.
HBWawa: Say what?
Me: I’m really just here so that I can get your number. and so far, I’m only up to around eight smiles and five laughs.
HBWawa: Have you actually been counting?
Me: Nope…those numbers just sounded about right. And Five’s a Pretty number…ugly, but pretty.
HBWawa: What?
Me: Five’s a pretty number. and an ugly one.
HBWawa: How?
(This goes on for a good long while…about a half hour of randomness.)
HBWawa (After about two - three minutes apart) (Shoves a piece of sizzli paper in my pocket) You’re amusing…you win. Give me a call sometime?
Me: Nah, probably not. I generally don’t keep the numbers when I’m done with a game.
HBWawa: What? Then why do you get them?
Me: The chase
HBWawa: Well, will I at least see you around?
Me: Yup. I live a few streets away…and work over at 497. Catcha laters!
(I bow, and exit without waiting for a response.)

HBCommerce: Blonde, maybe a 7 or 8, depending on what you like…far too thin for my tastes (almost anorexic-looking)

HBCommerce: Hi, how can I help you today?
Me: By giving me your phone number, and twelve smiles.
HBCommerce: Why Twelve?
Me: Well, I used the number twelve while getting the number from the wawa sales associate about an hour ago, so…I thought, why not?
HBCommerce: What is this?
Me: A game.
HBCommerce: A game?
Me: A game. (nod)

…And I think you can guess where it went from there, for the most of the central fluf stuff. If not, look at the wawa section. This stuff lasted about three minutes, before I tapped out (There was a massive line growing behind me)

Me: Well, time to go.
HBCommerce: Why?
Me: Angry Mob. (gestures behind me)
HBCommerce: Aww…okay.
Me: So, did I win?
(pause) (writing) (hands number)
HBCommerce: Stop in again sometime?
Me: Nah, I bank with wachovia.

(exit, stage left, without having ever made a transaction)

Day 2: McDonalds And Diner

McDonald’s was a no go. The only female was small, and mexican (I’m slightly racist…but only when the object of my racism can’t provide a green card or an ID….its a Jersey disease). So…I waited till dinner, and tried again at the diner.

HBDiner was a 9…possibly a 10 without my own biases. Picture a redhead, with green eyes, full pouting lips, and maybe a C. She had some tattoo work scrolling up her neck from beneath her apron. 20ish.

So…

HBDiner: Welcome to (diner). Tongihts specials are blah blah blah blah freaking blah. Can I start you off with an appatizer?

Me: Well, lets start out with your phone number and a smile, first. Or your phone number and a slap in the face. Either or.

HBDiner: Did you forget your date?

Me: Yes ma’am…forgot her all the way back in california.

HBDiner (cocks her head to one side) Is that where you’re from?

Me: Nope. Born and raised right here in Jersey, with a wee bit of spice from Canada.

HBDiner: I see. Recent trip?

Me: A few months…but..you know…she’s worth it.

HBDiner: Why is it you want my phone number, then?

Me: Oh, just a bet with some pick up artists.

(Follow normal course…this one was slightly quicker to grasp the nature of the game…especially since she had a full hour. Which brings us to̷

HBDiner: So, the rules of the game….one of them is complete honesty, isn’t it?

Me; Bingo. Complete honesty, and utter contradiction.

HBDiner: And…what’s the target: Sex with me?

Me: Nope, just a phone number. And a personal goal of a few smiles. I think my girl would be kind of upset, if I slept with you and she wasn’t on the other side of the bed.

HBDiner: She’s okay with you cheating?

Me: Hell no! …Just threeways….

(We talked about relationships for a while, and her lack of a boyfriend…then we talked about sex…and she asked how she looked…so I rated her…and got a mock “Not a ten? How dare you” type response.)

In the end, I got her number…but this one had a lot less sexual tension, and unfortunately, the early part of the conversation led to me LJBFing her. So…I got the number, but…I don’t think it really counts, because there was no sexual tension, and no source of hunting…she was easygoing and open, and apparently only in the area on spring break, so had no illusions of lasting knowledge. With the others, there was a much tougher time getting trust, which is my general goal.

Day 3: Wachovia and Police Department

The only girl that rated an HB 6 or higher was a familiar face, who knows me by name already…declined opening, calling it no contest in number getting (plus…I didn’t want to encourage her more than my normal visits do).

POLICE DEPARTMENT AVAILABLE ONLY TO MY BLOG READERS!

Long story short: I opened a 30 year old police woman. Maybe a 5 or a 6. She knew me from my job at wawa. Umm…yeah. She’s a MARRIED policewoman. Who didn’t take very kindly to being opened…or to my honest rating of her…or to my doing it at her place of work. So…this was my big bombing of the week’s game. She was good natured about most of it, after the fact, but during…well, lets just say I was threatened with lock up, if I didn’t stop pursuing the subject.

This is your host, Lodinkinni, and this has been another Report from the Fields for Social Falsification: Tales from the Liar’s Underground.

Alright guys, this week, I had the pleasure and fun of creating the challenge. You can find it here, at http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&fid=8&read=77425. I’ve started the challenge, and gone to two locales so far. I’ve got another four lined up, and won’t make an FR until I’ve gone and performed in all of my chosen locales. As an appology for not posting yet, though, I’ll give you a preview of the locales you’ll all be seeing:

-A Wawa (other than the one that I currently work at)
-A Diner
-A McDonalds
-A Commerce Bank
-A Wachovia
-SPECIAL (This Locale Will Only Be Posted Here, In Social Falsification) A Police Office.

For now, I’m your host, Lodinkinni, and this has been another challenge update from Social Falsification: Tales From The Liar’s Underworld. Tune in next time for ‘Practicing the Poker Face, Part II’ where I’ll discuss the C-Artist Techniques for practicing your poker face. For now, enjoy the flip side of the screen.

So, in the depths of the mASF forums, a challenge was issued, to all PUAs brave enough to pick up the gauntlet: To sarge a woman, and get a #-close, using nothing but song. Now, the original details allowed full use of kino and a short explanation before hand. In taking up this gauntlet, however, I added my own stipulations: I would not make eye contact (to prevent this, I wore reflective wrap-around sunglasses), I would not engage in any kino, beyond a single touch to the shoulder, and, just to make it near impossible, all the songs would be homecrafted (i.e. steal the beat from other songs at times, but keep it marginally original). The actual mASF post can be found here

Now, before I go on to give my FR, let me just stop for a minute to give NashvillePlayboy some major kudos. Sometimes, the game can start to lose its glamor, and you forget what its really about: fun. Posts and challenges like this one are what get the blood flowing…and are even safe for people like me, who are out of the game itself, but just looking to get back that old confidence boost. NashvillePlayboy, be proud: You’ve been mentioned in an obscure blog with maybe 10 readers.
Anyway, on to the FR:
Being far too busy to go out sarging for any considerable length of time, I picked up AFCWingJM, and began to walk around campus looking for a good approach. I was doing some minor peacocking in my black felt cowboy hat and safety-style reflective sunglasses (worn more to adhere to my own stipulations for the game…i.e. no eye contact), but was mostly just my normal, all black, semi-serious self. We attempted to videotape a few of the approaches, but it didn’t work out well. Apparently, people get very, VERY defensive when a videocamera is openly involved, and will demand that you delete footage, or just walk away from you. Following are the highlights:

Approach 1: HB7Snob was sitting up across from the Dean’s Office, listening to her Ipod and working on papers. I came in with a variant on ‘If you’re happy and you know it’, in which I went through quite a few verses before attempting the close. AFCWingJM helped me by clapping where appropriate for himself. Annotated are which ones the target clapped for:

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. (no clap.)
If you’re annoyed and you know it clap your hands (1 clap)
If you’ve got a rat up your ass clap your hands (giggling, laughing, no clap)
If you’re amused and you know it, clap your hands (clapping)
If you wanna be distracted clap your hands (clapping)
If you think I’m kinda cute, clap your hands (clapping)
If you wanna sit with me, clap your hands (clapping, moves to sit)
If you wanna be my friend, give a number to my phone and clap your hands (gives phone, number put in)
(lines continue for a while, distracting her and amusing me)
So, you’d think this meant I got it right on the first try, right?  Wrong. Unfortunately, here in the tristate, we have a number that I’ve used myself on quite a few people. Its called the rejection hot line, and can be reached at: 201-808-6011. Basically, I think I moved in too fast after building attraction, here. I did manage to make this approach work, but it wasn’t until after some deep thought.

Approach 4: (Post-Departure of AFCWingJM)  HB9Goth was in the Arts and Science building, attempting to work on an art project. By this point, I was getting kind of distressed by the lack of closes. I’d built a lot of attraction to the women, and had gotten them all to engage (except one person, who slapped me and left when I started with my home-crafted ‘Orgy’ song, but…yeah), but no actual number closes. So…I ditched my restriction on the home-made song part, and opened her with ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ …pretty much a straight out Top Gun mimic. I got a look like I was mad, but, she moved over, and I gained entrance to the couch. From there, I noticed that she was working on a celtic-knot-type design, so I switched gears and went semi-original, working with irish folk music. She tried to steal my cowboy hat after a while, and so, in song, I informed her that the person with the hat had to sing. In the end, I got a number without asking for it.

Approach 5:  Still singing with HB9Goth, I noticed that other people in the lounge were looking at us like we were nuts. Since I still had time to kill until AFCWingJM got back from his class, I decided to try to turn a single #-close into a multiple #-close. Placing the cowboy hat on her head, I waited until she got back into the swing of singing again…And then began to lead her about the room, picking out women (mostly through pointing, and letting her decide if they got dragged up). In the end, we had about twelve people giggling and sharing my cowboy hat like a 10 cent whore. AFCWingJM returned during this, and at the end, we all traded numbers and departed for class. I ended up with 5 numbers out of the group. AFCWingJM got 2.

Approach 8: If you’re happy and you know it finally worked. I was solo for this run, and used part of the singing switch I developed in Approach 4 to make HB7Lioness (picture long, curling blond hair, framing a thin face) continue the song. In the end, I didn’t get a #-close, but I did get an AIM close (without asking for either), so I still count it as a success.

Finally, approach 10: This was my last approach of Weds. It…really, really didn’t go well. Apparently, some of the girls had been going around talking about the singing man who was collecting numbers, and it had reached the ears of HB8Nosenseofhumor. Her reaction was to slap me in the face, and walk off, on the opening bars of a home made irish tune. HB9Goth was there to watch it, and was giggling. She said the girl tended to be a bitch, and, since it wasn’t part of the game anymore, I agreed in normal speech.

That kinda ended my day of partial PU. I noticed it was a lot harder to get back into the swing of things after each class, and, as noted…Video Cameras make people edgy as hell when they think they’re being flirted with. That or I just really, really had bad luck with who I picked. But…all in all, I’d say the day was a decent success, if not a booming one. Do you know how hard it is to keep your sunglasses on, when everyone’s looking to take them off?

Thanks, Nashvilleplayboy, for coming up with round one of this game. And trust me, there’ll be other rounds.

This ends my little off-topic tangent. Join us next time as we discuss ‘Practicing The Poker Face’. For now, as always, I’m your host, Lodinkinni, and this has been another instillation of ‘Social Falsification: Tales from the Liar’s Underground’.

So, todays feature is the hit informative podcast, What You Ought To Know. Now, all of you (and by all of you, yes, I mean all 5 of you, even the spic) who read this horrid concoction of a blog know that I am a big proponent of mental masturbation…the guys who do this show, they’re masters at it. I mean, they give their mind a wank /at least/ once a week, usually more.

Their last post was on a lack of viewers, and on how other crappy, crappy things get more airtime than them, and more hits.

That having been said, lets give them their due:

This Week’s Link(s):
The Chuck Norris Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjnVEsXtNIU
What You Ought To Know: http://www.whatyououghttoknow.com/